Here's to moms everywhere

who just want to take a bath by themselves...
Have you ever had one of those mornings, you know, where you just wake up feeling a little achy, didn't sleep well the night before, and you feel a head cold coming on?
The thought pops into your head, "If I could just soak in the tub, just long enough to relax my muscles, and maybe loosen the concrete block behind my eyes, maybe I'll be able to make it through the day and get something done." Those are the days when, as much as you love your children, you wish you could be left alone for just a FEW MINUTES!!!! I just had one of those mornings.
The exchange goes something like this:
me: "Jordan, watch your brothers for a minute. Levi's (here), Jacob's (here), and Zachary and Caeden are in front of the TV in the basement (no worries about them disturbing me - some Pokemon show is on)."
Jordan: "OK, mom, I'll watch them."
At which point, I turn to go down the hall to start the tub. Also at which point I hear Jordan run downstairs to watch aforementioned Pokemon show.
Cut to a few minutes later... I'm in the tub, head under the water. I come up, and there's Jacob, "Mom, whatcha doin'?"
me: "I'm taking a bath." (I start to feel my inner teenager come out, and I almost say "Duh, isn't it obvious?!?")
Jacob: "Can I get in?"
Mom: "No, bud. I just want to wash my body by myself."
Jacob pulls up his pants and leaves the room.
10 seconds later, I lather up my hair and open my eyes to Jacob standing there again. "Mom, I think you need some bubbles." He reaches for the button to turn on the jets.
me: "Noooo! Mom doesn't want to get her hair caught in the jets. Let me wash my hair by myself, please..." and Jacob leaves.
As I come out of the water again, trying to rinse my hair out, there's Jacob again. "Mom, I got you some soap." He hands me the baby wash from the other bathroom.
me: "Thanks, bud. Could you go out now?"
Jacob: "Of course." (He's into saying "Of course" for every affirmative answer - I don't know why.)
15 seconds later, Jacob brings in the yellow rubber duckie. "Here, mom, now you can play. You need the duck to play. Can I get in now?"
me: "No, Jake. Please go out and close the door. Where's Jordan? Go find Jordan."
Jacob: "OK."
About 20 seconds later, there's a knock on my door. Inner teenager creeps to the surface and I yell "Whaaaaaaaaaat?" with that really whiny up and down inflection in the middle of the word. Jacob wants to know if I want the shark and pirannah. "Noooo (imagine the whine here, too.) Please go away."
Jacob: "I want to take a bath. Can I take a bath with you now?"
me: "No, sometimes moms just like to get cleaned up by themselves. Hey, why don't you go watch TV with your brothers?"
Jacob: "No thank you."
me: "Go get a book."
Jacob: "No, I don't want a book."
me: "Why don't you play with your cars in your cool car room with your car mat?"
Jacob, opening the door: "Can I come in now?"
By this time, I realize that there's no chance of getting a relaxing bath until everyone is in bed. I pull my sad, achy body out of the tub and tell Jacob that if he wants to get in, he can. I dry off and get dressed and sit on my bed as I hear "mom, come look... I'm making bubbles come out of my bum!" And he wonders why mom doesn't want to bathe with him.
I love my boys.